The Left Thing I Have
by Hitomisure
Summary: It's not only you but there's always someone who is like you. He's the same thing and feels the same, even the past and life. Who else would be if it isn't your childhood friend? Another fic for LavixKanda fan.....


Fanfiction

**A/N : **Well, I just want to tell you first that English isn't my native language. I don't have any Beta-reader and it's not I don't want to have. So, don't hope that my skill would be good. Grammar and Vocabulary aren't that all right or good. But, I'm trying to improve my skill since I like this language.

Now, please enjoy reading my story.

**Fanfiction**

**Project : D.Gray Man**

**The Left Thing I Have**

Everything in front of him was so silent, though there're so many people on the narrow path. He didn't know why he didn't hear anything or the sound wasn't worth to be heard. It's doesn't matter. He just wanted to send supervisor a report and headed to his room. This solo mission was really annoying and took so much time as its meaning.

"Ugh……"

He slid behind one of the pillars and groaned. Maybe, he'd head to the medical ward first but he surely didn't want anyone to touch him or know about his wounds. It's annoying and frustrating to be asked and ordered around by the certain strict head of nurses.

"They'll go away soon……"

He mumbled softly and sighed as he did know how fast his body healed. If he could just rest for at least one day, he'd be fine. So, he better got over with the report and hit his bed.

The heavy doors opened with the same strength. He ignored the same sight, the countless mountains of paperwork and puzzled scientists running around, and walked to sit on the only vacant couch.

"Ah, Kanda-kun, how's your mission?"

The supervisor turned around from his hanging charge and asked with smile. His eyes behind the glasses secretly stared at his Exorcist's body. The target just didn't notice or was careless.

The younger boy just handed a few sheets of paper to the other and waited silently. His leader used a few minutes for reading them before looked up at him.

"Though, you have gone nearly for two months, I'm surprised you finish it this quick while getting in so many troubles."

"I just did it the best. If you don't have anything, I'll go."

"Thank you for hard work and rest well."

The supervisor shouted after the Exorcist's back before the doors closed behind him. He noticed some blood and hoped the arrogant boy would ask for medication.

'_If he'd, at least, let anyone touch him…….'_

**Two days later**

Somehow, his mind really wished his latest mission was longer, so he didn't have to come back and face the regular things. Why that moyashi had to keep annoying him with those stupid innocent words and smile. Why those Finders didn't stop talking behind his back and being sorrow over their friend's death. And, definitely why that red haired Usagi didn't stop calling his given name and teasing him. Maybe, only unsheathing his deadly sword wasn't enough.

'_I'll surely kill them all, one day…..'_

He though and sighed. Those things bothered him till he barely had a mind to enjoy the taste of his soba. Maybe, he'd eat in his room, next time.

"Ne, Yu, and I went to help her without afraid of those burly punks. I'm so manly and very good to the ladies, don't you think?"

'_You're very good with asking for death and my sword. Why won't you rot in hell with them?' _

He thought darkly while silently eating his soba. It's not the first time this redhead came and ranted about what he had done in his mission with Bookman. And, he learned to ignore almost every word since it's worthless to hear.

"Hey, Yu, are you listening? What do you think?"

The redhead gulped his tea and asked with poppy dog eyes. It's not he's exited to know what Kanda thought. He just wanted to ask for full attention and he'd be happy if he got it.

"I think why you won't rot in hell with them, so I don't have to hear even one word. Don't you have something useful to do, Bookman Jr.?"

Somehow, the name weighted Lavi's mood down. He hated that name, though he chose and was chosen to be. It's not he didn't agree. He just felt against something Bookman had to do. And, the name or his title just kept reminding those disagreeable rules.

"Don't call me that."

"Then, stop calling my given name."

"But, what else I call you? It's your name."

"I still have surname, haven't I?"

"Mou, I want to call only you, not the whole family."

"Che, whatever. You're hopeless. I have something worthier to do."

"What'd be worthier than talking and hanging around with your childhood friend?"

"Staying away from you?"

Kanda said just that and walked away. But, he couldn't get more than three steps before everything turned black. It's strange that his eyes still opened but he knew they're dull and lifeless. He still heard people's voice and felt everything but he didn't have any strength for even move his finger. Something was wrong. Something suddenly disappeared. And, he did know what it's. One petal, one part of his life span was gone.

"Damn, it nearly scared me to death when he suddenly collapsed like that. His face and body was like a broken lifeless doll or a robot without fuel."

Lavi finished what he had faced ten minutes a go. He turned to look through the faint white curtain around the white bed. His eyes and face turned lifeless while memorizing everything inside, especially a figure on it. It's not this weak laying one was so much important till Bookman couldn't miss. It's just his habit to memorize every detail of everything in his sight. Besides, he still was worried about his friend no end.

Komui noticed what the younger Exorcist did and waited silently a few minutes before he said.

"It's just like usual but……"

"It's still frightened to look. It's like he's going to die right here right now." The Future Bookman sighed and stepped to stand in front of the curtain. "He doesn't have strength to even breathe by himself."

He suddenly felt angry and wanted to yank that breath mask off. So, his friend's body would struggle to be alive and didn't lie just like a corpse. He wanted those electric wires and machines gone and shook him awake when his heart stopped beating. It'd be good to pour freezing water on that faint red body, so its temperature would decrease. Why he wasn't a wizard or anything? His friend needed that unseen pain gone.

"How many time his heart stop?"

"As I have seen…..four." The supervisor flipped the sheets on his clipboard and replied.

"What do you mean?" Why it had to be _'have seen'_?

"Sometime, his heart just skipped a beat faster or slower but it's only a few minutes."

"How long did his heart stop?"

"Only a few seconds, so I think it's alright."

"Good….." The boy sighed and looked sadly. "Will he be alright?"

"We already know that answer, Lavi. It's only this day."

"Yeah….." _'Only one day, so hang in there till tomorrow, Yu.'_

Yes, only one day. The day the great arrogant swordman was weaker than a baby. He couldn't do anything more than lying and suffering with the great unseen pain. His body would lose the entire of body protection system. So, he could be killed by every germ and everything, even a needle. And, he'd be like that till the energy of left petals replaced the wilted one.

"Here, Lavi."

"Thanks, Komui."

The future Bookman laughed softly and got a white blanket from the other. The supervisor surely knew he wouldn't leave his friend's side. And, he hoped there wasn't anything came and dragged him off.

"If you want anything, just ask Reever."

"Hey, I think it's alright. You guys are busy more than enough."

When Komui walked out of the room, Lavi sighed and sat leaning on one machine. He really wanted to go inside and stay beside his friend but it's impossible. He'd just deliver several germs to his friend and killed him.

"Funny, it's only a few meters but I feel like I'm not with him at all." He bitterly laughed. "I just want to hold you…….Yu……."

The faint sound of dropping water echoed in the dark world. The black water whirled and a watered-ball floated up from it. Its color slowly faded and left only clear glassed-surface to be seen. A small hand reached up from the water and a body of small boy followed. It held the ball gently while green and red eyes stared inside.

……_You wouldn't break out, would you, 59__th__?..._

His mental voice echoed all around. The same colored eyes opened to look at him. The smaller clone's lips parted to smile. The ball got bigger and the same sized body broke the glassed-surface out.

……_Why would you do it just for him?..._

……_Why wouldn't you do it for the others?... _

……_Why wouldn't you kill him like I have done?..._

……_He'd just get in the way of Bookman….._

……_He's the cause of your banished behaviors and thoughts….._

……_You would never be a perfect and succeed Bookman if he's here…… _

The first one pointed at his heart and stepped aside, letting the other see behind him. A very big cross stood right through a small body with long black hair. His crimson blood slowly spread out of his body and painted the water red.

……_I would never do that….. _The clone shook his head and said with sad smile.

…_..Why? He'll definitely die whether you kill him or not…..._

……_His life would run out itself or those Akumaes would kill him……_

……_Because, I don't want to let go……_

The clone said softly and walked to crotch besides the lifeless body. He pulled the holy sign of god off and gently held the body up against his chest.

……_He's the first one who pulls me up from the deepest hold to face the light of this world….._

……_He's the first one who safes my life without asking anything….._

…_..He's the only one who knows me the best……_

……_And, I'm the only one who knows him the best……_

……_I'm the only one he allows to call his name……_

……_I'm the only one he loves….._

……_And, I only feel the same……_

……_So, I won't let him go……_

……_This time, I'll be the one who lead him to the light……_

……_You just ask for what's impossible as long as you're 59__th__ Bookman of our clan….._

……_That's why I'm different and you finally know how it feels to love and be loved, 58__th __Bookman……_

The 59th Bookman smiled and wiped the tears off the other face. Though, his eyes were lifeless, he knew the 58th one listened and understood.

……_Let's pick him up together……_

They said in unison. The lifeless figured slowly faded away along with the dark world. And, the light slowly swallowed everything in its warm, forever.

_Yu….._

_Wake up….._

_I'm here……_

_You're not alone……_

Blood and fire of homeland slowly faded away in the light. A hand reached out of it and gently wiped the tears away. A young feminine face looked up at red and green eyes.

……_You come to pick me up?..._

……_Yes, I do. Now, let's go…... _The tall figure with short red-orange hair, in black and white cloth, said.

……_Why did you come?..._

……_Why did you make those past go away?..._

……_Why didn't you want to hurt me like them?..._

The young boy stepped back and looked distrustfully at the man. That smiling face always came with pain and betrayer. So, why this one would be different?

……_Because, I'm the only one who knows you the best……_

……_We're the same……_

……_I understand how you feel….._

……_I love you……_

The man gently kissed him and hugged him. Strangely, he didn't push him off and only surrendered to the feeling. Yes, someone was calling. The only one he allowed to call his given name and see his true self.

…_..Welcome back, Yu….._

"Don't call me that, eye patch."

"Mou, you're not cute, Yu-chan. And, you're wrong since I don't wear it, right now."

Though, the greeting words weren't impressed, Bookman didn't care. His childhood friend was smiling at him. He chuckled softly when the other carefully touched his right cheek and looked at his red eye.

"Yes, my mistake."

Kanda trailed off softly. It's like a holy chance Ravi took his eye patch off. No one was allowed to see it but him. So, he couldn't help to stare at it as long as he could.

"Don't scare me like that, again." He said softly, lay on the bed and hugged Kanda tightly.

"You always ask what's impossible."

"At least, I ask."

Kanda just sighed and closed his eyes. He just hoped there wasn't anyone came in the room soon. There's no way he could kick the redhead off. He's too scared to let go, though he wouldn't suddenly disappear in any minute.

"I'll be with you, forever." Lavi said and kissed Kanda's forehead.

"Childish words……"

_Yes, it could be true till the last petal dropped…… _

…**. End ….**


End file.
